Its about early in the morning when Wonyi, Michael
and me take our Motorbike to go to the most south
part of Bali. I have no real clue how this motorbike
works, the only thing I know is that the break works,
that I have to mirror and the claxon is lound enought.
Renting a bike here is like buying something to drink.
Very very easy. Normaly I should need a International
Driver Licence and of course I don t have one. Why
? Well during all my trip I never needed one, and
adding to that I have to pay to have one, and it will
be valuable for 3 month. And realy, what are the chance
to be arrested by the police ! One of 10 billions
?
FLASH BREAKING NEWS ! from Michael.
The chance to be arrested are 1 to 10 billions for
a local guy.
And 100 % if you a tourist on a motorbike !
END OF THE FLASH BREAKING NEWS !
Okay lets take the risk ! And so we go. I put the
first gear with my foot (strange when you are use
to 4 wheels vehicules) and turn my right hand to give
some gaz....coool I can drive motorbike. Well adding
to the fact that I can t realy drive, I have to drive
on the left side (like new Zealand). Then you can
think about how it is when you have to check that
Michael is still at the front, and Wonyi still in
my back (thanks that somebody invented mirors !).
Of course the roads are not empty, there are a incredible
number of motorbikes here that drive all arround me.
And after 40 seconds guess what ?
I lost Michael and Wonyi !
I m waiting at the next crossroad....and after 2 long
minutes Michael is appearing. I, the middleman miss
to see that he turned before...Ups. The trip can continue.
But it will not be as easy... We drive out of Kuta,
following Michael our friend that knows the way to
the Surfsport. I m getting more and more accustumate
to the motorbike and I realy like it ! Of course allways
think about security. We are passing some little village,
where chicken risk their life to cross the road, here
and there the people allong the streets walk to their
daily occupation....and I feel free, like a Harley
Davidson driver on s Bali route 66. Okay its not realy
a Harley and its not realy the 66 but...maybie it
could just feel like. No ?
I m still following Michael, but he is stopping ?
Why ? Oh oh ! Police. On the side of the road the
police made a sign to Michael. . He has to stop...and
like ducks in the air we follow the leader duck, we
follow our leader Michael. I stop. Wonyi stop. On
the side of this road, a police station. Why ?
A policeman come to me. Benny. That the name I read
on his suit. I try to get nice and unworried...it
seems to work the guy is cool, he ask me for my driver
licence, I give him my driver licence and try to get
a small talk (its a psychologic fight. Goal: try to
get Bemny as a friend !). But his upper officier come
to him and ask him in Balinese something...Benny get
now serious. Where is my driver Licence, my INTERNATIONAL
driver licence please.....Oh oh ....I improvise...I
tell him that I don t Know what he is talking about...that
is my licence...blablabla...but at this moment he
tell me to come to the office...we get inside. And
a half our of discussion is starting. The first 5
minutes its with Benny. Then the upper Officier is
coming! He beginn to explain me that I need a International
Driver Licence ! I think during the time he explain
me that I will go to the court because I didn t respect
the Balinese law..blablabla...What can I do !? Okay
did you see Forest Gump ! I m now Forest Gump, I m
the nicest and stupid guy in the film. Idiot but attaching.
FOREST GUMP:
The officier speak:
- 1 - DO I want to go to the court ?
- 2 - Do I want to pay a fee ?
No, no... I don t want to get to the court, its far
away and I don t want to lose time...
The guy explain me because I don t have a International
Driver Licence I have to pay a fee...but I have a
Licence. Yes but not an international one...Ahhh okay...I
don t want to pay a fee I want to pay a International
Driver Licence ! The guy look at me. I smiling happy
. He beginn to think I m stupid. Because I want to
pay for a International Driver Licence witch you can
get only in your country. Of course I know that and
he try to explain it to me. If I want to drive in
Bali I can buy an Balinese driver licence....Do I
understand that ? Yes. Big Smile. But you ask me for
an International driver licence sir, not a Balinese,
so where can I order a International driver licence....
The talk goes like that 20 minutes...the guy is desesperate
because my IQ is so so so small at the moment...and
he get crazy because I m allways smiling...even when
he menace me again...So he give half up. He put his
paperstuff back and tell me I will not pay any fee,
but I can give him money for a drink, caffee....Of
course I m idiot, of course my english is very bad...MY
ANSWER is on the same time the definitly conviction
that I m realy stupid.
-"NO sir, thank you, I don t like coffee,
its bad coffee for the organism, makes you addict
and nervous...but thank you !"
You should see his face ! No words during 10 sec...His
head goes more and more in the shoulder...I think
he is out of any hope.
Last question...! What I m doing at home ? What s
my work ? I m student, I m student of graphics, I
explain him, with a big smile.He think now that I
m happy he get interest in me. But in fact I know
he just want to know how much I earn and depending
to that, ask me how much I should pay. I ignore the
real purpose and enthousiastic explain him a boring
story of the basic of graphic design. I point him
the badge and different stupid image all arround the
office and explain him allways with a smile My boring
technical story of graphic makes him regret his question...
Okay I should pay 20 000 Roupiah because we are friend.
I get the 20 out of my pocket and put it on the table
beetween he and me...but I continue my speach about
graphics....I take my drawing book out of the pocket,
he still look at me, because I speak like a idiot....I
m full involved in my role...and that seems to work,
he looks at my drawing...he looks at me...I think
he gets pitie of me!
The officier didn t take the money on the table...he
push it back to me and say that we are friends and
that I should go now...everything is okay. He stands
up, the officier put his arm on my shoulder, like
old friends do, and show me the way out...Michael
is coming asking for something...The officier will
probably never never stop me again....because smiling-idiots
don t pay ! Smiling-Idiot don t understand anything.
(Thanks Tom Hawks for the inspiration !).
Greeeat.. Back on the bike... We arrive at Uluwatu,
I explain the thing to my friends..Incredible. In
my pocket the 20 000 roupiah that I will use for food
and drink in Ulu Watu...
The place is nice, we are siting on a big balcony
with a sea surfer panorama. The wave today are not
that big but its still interesting. Its maybie 2 minutes
since we arrived and the people try to sell us, stickers
, massage, T shirt and and and....Instead of being
a NO men I just take the woman who wants to make the
massage in my arms and put her on the chair....she
is screaming...the other are looking here...I depose
her on the chair and beginn the massage...she was
so afraid and know she is laughting with the other...she
stand up and hit my arm like friends do, and get away
from me. I order something to eat....the other stay
in distance to me...maybie they believe I crazy. But
one of the woman found that cute and come to me...she
want to sell me the stickers...and their are nice
one...so I decided to buy some...They allways say
it brings them good luck if somebody start to buy
one...after she can sell more...because luck arrived.
So I m the lucky gift men...I buy some of the stickers
and then...incredibly people buy some too. I think
Michael, and then a surfer.
From the Uluwatu surfer spot we go to the temple spot...met
the monkeys, see the temple, meet Korean tourist and
have a nice drink break in front of the temple. The
people are realy so nice in Bali, we converse with
a girl...well actualy she spoke to Michael mainly...I
think she liked him ...
Then we take the bike and go to a place witch name
I have forgotten. Its nice too and we meet a girl,
yes again, very nice too..
Finaly we go back alive from this little trip, passed
the police station as fast as possible and get back
to eat of course. First motorbike day ! Great....
That a fast end isn t it ?
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